How honest are you with God ?
While reading the book of Matthew during this resurrection week, I eventually came across chapter 14;13-18 and was completely stopped by my own conviction.
When Jesus heard of John the Baptist's death, his first reaction was to seek the Father... here is what convicted me about that simple action from Jesus. So many times I tend to forget that he (Jesus) was 100% human, that he hurt, he felt frustration and anger, as well as sadness as much as we do. My heart hurt for Jesus as I was reading the word because if you have ever lost someone dear to your heart , you surely understand how he must have felt at that moment.The word says;
"When Jesus heard it, he departed from there by boat to a deserted place by himself". Matthew 14:13 NKJV.
This specific part showcases to us what to do during moments of sudden and shocking pain or fear, kind of like the one we are going through around the world right at this moment.God KNOWS your heart, he understands what you are feeling and he is willing to deal with it but you have to hand it to him. Many times we feel ashamed or guilty of going to God with the hard questions or full honesty about our feelings. But what if I told you that is what will delivery you...
Once you let that heaviness out of your spirit he will not only deal with it but he will give you a peace that will surpass all understanding. Being honest with God not only as a father bur also a friend will give him access to work on those areas that you don't feel comfortable talking about. The secret struggles you don't share with anyone, those are the ones he would like to deal with the most.
Now if we continue reading chapter 14;14 Jesus himself demonstrates how freeing it is to share our not so pretty feelings with God. It says; "And when Jesus went out (from the deserted place) He saw a great multitude and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick".
You see, after Jesus laid down his pain and probable frustration about Johns unjust death he was able to walk out of his alone time with God and serve others. And not only that but with a compassionate heart, now lets be real for a minute. How many times have you received bad, frustrating or shocking news and walked right out to serve others with a genuinely compassionate and giving heart?. My honest answer?, sadly not many, if ever. This made me realize how often we as humans do it all wrong, how we naturally gravitate towards holding to our feelings thinking we can deal with them better than God. We forget he gave us our feelings in the first place.
I got conviction by seeing how Jesus was able to keep doing God's work for the people with a compassionate heart right after receiving such news. He was wise, he had the understanding that in order to continue he had to give God such feelings and heaviness. He knew he would find comfort in the Father to continue to showcase the love of God no matter how he "felt".
Now, if we talk fashion a la Not Just Sunday !, honesty with our father is to me like a good ol' pair of Dr Martens. They will make your walk whether it is through mud, rain, cement or grass much more secure. They will keep your feet protected from anything that may cause them harm, just like honesty with God will not allow any damaging feelings to harvest in your heart and your work for the Kingdom to be affected.
Keeping our communication with the father honest is not only freeing but necessary for our spiritual protection. Every. Single .Day.
Not Just Sunday.